Friday, 11 May 2012

Back in the waiting game...

It's been 1 month and 1 day since the miscarriage and I tell you what, it's very surreal. It keeps creeping up on me and surprising me. Yesterday, when I realised that it was a monh since it happened I suddenly felt very sad and had that heavy feeling you get in your chest when something shocks and saddens you at the same time. I guess I'll have that for a long time, especially on the due date.

Aside from that things have been alright actually. We've gotten used to the routine of waiting and inseminating now so it's almost second nature (although sperm is still rank, it actually makes me wretch these days) to us now.

We started checking for ovulation a week earlier than normal this time around because we just didn't know who was happening with it and whether or not it was going to show up as if my wife had never been late in the first place or if it would just be randomly early or if it would be late so we thought the safest thing to do would be to test early and carry on until it was positive.

In the end we got a positive that put my wife on for a 27 day cycle (her normal is 29) so we got our donor here, he did his thing and we had a chat about the miscarriage and then he left and we did our thing.

Well now we are on cycle day 31 with no obvious signs of a period starting or my wife being pregnant (although she did have a funny tummy around implantation ish time and she did feel as though she had started the other morning but it was a false alarm). We honestly don't know what's happening, for all we know this could just be her body trying to return to normal or she could be pregnant. We just don't know.

If nothing happens we will be testing in 4 days, this is just so that we pass the stage that things went wrong last time which may sound silly but I don't think either of us will believe it if it's before that stage.

I'll do and update next Tuesday or Wednesday, hopefully with good news!

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