This post is exactly what is says in the title.
I've been kinda putting it off for a while but now feels like to time to confirm everything.
This journey has been long and unpredictable and completely heart breaking. We've experienced the euphoria of being pregnant and the utter devastation of losing our baby and along the way we've spoken to some people who have been incredibly supportive and encouraging.
Unfortunately we haven't achieved our dream of starting our family. We've exhausted every option for a sperm donor within 75 miles of us and still can't afford treatment without saving for a while but even then, there are no guarantees.
The thing that i don't think anyone takes fully on board when you start trying to get pregnant is that there are no guarantees. You can't wish yourself pregnant and no matter how much you want it and how hard you try, you could end up never having a baby.
We don't like the idea of going for treatment just because if it doesn't work, there is so much more we could have done with the thousands of pounds it'll cost. If we could guarantee that it'd work then we'd jump at the first chance of doing it.
The honest truth for our situation right now is that we have stopped trying. We're not looking for a donor and we're not planning on trying again anytime soon. We're not saying never but we are saying not now or in the foreseeable future.
There are other routes to parenthood and we are exploring them openly but i won't be blogging about them on here.
Thank you to everyone who has been there to support us both, we honestly appreciate it more than we can say.
For anyone that is still trying, good luck with your journey, i hope that it proves to be more fruitful for you than it has for us. Please don't let it take over you, it's hard enough as it is and if you're not careful, it can consume you. I know of women that are almost 50 who have been trying for more than 20 years who are still trying to get pregnant and they have missed out on so much because of it. It doesn't work for everyone but from the bottom of my heart, i honestly hope it does for you.
I'll be keeping this blog live for a while but then i'll be taking it down.
Thank you to everyone for reading! Especially those of you in Russia right now x